Sunday, 15 January 2012 23:48
I'm trying to write this post at a computer that was last used for PBSKIDS.org and, because I've been given explicit instructions not to close the game window, it keeps repeating "Click on your name OR click the "new" button." as I try to write. Can I click the new button? I'd like to click the new button now.
We've been wallowing in 2011's failures and the newness of 2012 for just over two weeks now. Since I failed to write an inspiring list of what I DID accomplish in 2011 or what I HOPE to accomplish in 2012 I figured I'd let the New Year go without much thought. My birthday, 27th, approaches though, and this day feels like it deserves some commitment - what shall I press myself towards this year?
Last year I picked the word "Complete" as my word of the year. I suck at completing things - projects I start at work and at home, ideas I have, goals I aspire to... I also fail miserably at BEING complete - I don't nurture the parts of me that need extra attention and as such spend much of my time as the shell of who I could be - as incomplete.
2011 was a great year, but I didn't master completion. So 2012 is about completion as well. I want to get a little tattoo on my wrist, a completed circle with five little lines in the middle... complete - my family - complete.
I'm embarking on my fourth weight loss journey in three years. This shows you how often I fail at completion. I am sickened by the way I've held onto "baby" weight while my baby is about to turn four. I don't have any excuses just that I like to eat and even though I go to the gym almost daily I've not truly committed to kicking my own butt. I'm logging calories again and hoping to journal a bit - to see if I can make this journey complete.
