Tuesday, 15 April 2008 00:00
I lie when I say that I don't care what people think of my home. I try to convince you that it doesn't matter to me. That, in fact, I go to the extreme of intentionally NOT keeping a perfectly clean home - so that people won't get false impressions of me.
The truth is, I'm just not that good at staying clean. I'm not really that domestic. I try to reduce clutter, to throw things away/give things away, to pick up the toys every night. But I'm really just not born to be tidy. It isn't inate in me to WANT to clean my house. So it isn't a lie when I say that I'm not tidy. But the truth is, when I know you're coming over, I DO put in more effort.
The truth is, that if you dropped by my house, unexpected, on any given afternoon, you'd be more likely to find my house in ruins - half the breakfast dishes still on the table and a half-naked kid running around (as I try to put a diaper back on.) You'd be likely to find a half-full fridge and a half-written grocery list. You'd find my half-hearted attempt to print coupons from the internet, and half-opened mail piled on a half-dusted desk. You'd probably find me only half-sane too - more than likely talking in a louder than polite voice to my less-than-perfect children.
When I know you're coming over, I'll at least make the effort to hide the mess. My closets will get fuller while my hallway, mysteriously, becomes passable. My children will more than likely be fully clothed. I will probably be wearing a bra and more than likely will have wiped down the toilet and swept the crumbs from under the dining room table to a new location (under the area rug).
But yet, I'll tell you that I'm sorry I didn't pick up. And I'll tell you that, "hey, this is just how we live and we want you to feel comfortable with our vulnerability." But really, if I was really being vulnerable, if I was really being honest, I'd still be in my pajamas and I wouldn't be wearing a bra.
